How to Write the Perfect Social Emotional IEP Goals

Social Emotional Goals Matter

When you think of IEP goals, your mind probably jumps straight to reading or math. But there’s another area that’s just as important for real success: social-emotional learning (SEL). 

Social emotional IEP goals help students build the skills that support everything else they do personally and in social situations. They learn skills like understanding emotions, managing frustration, getting along with others, and making responsible choices. 

For lots of students, progress in these areas can completely change their school experience. These are truly the foundational pieces that have to be in place before you’ll see gains in academic achievement. 

When written well, SEL goals don’t just help students “behave better.” They teach lifelong self-regulation skills, self-awareness, empathy, and independence. They can be worked on in a variety of educational environments and embedded into the student’s daily routines.

In this post, we’ll break down exactly how to write the perfect social emotional IEP goals and give you real examples. Of course, use these as templates and tweak them according to the student’s needs and what is required to complete the individualized education program.

What Are Social Emotional IEP Goals?

Social emotional goals play a crucial role and should focus on the core competencies of SEL:

• Self-Awareness: recognizing one’s emotions, strengths, and values
• Self-Management: managing emotions and behaviors in different settings
• Social Awareness: understanding and empathizing with others
• Relationship Skills: communicating and cooperating with others
• Responsible Decision Making: making safe, ethical, and goal-oriented choices

While these often overlap with behavioral goals, they’re not quite the same.

• A behavior goal might target what you see, “Student will appropriately engage in the task for 10 minutes.” These goals can be linked to social emotional development, but aren’t directly teaching a social-emotional skill.
• A social-emotional goal targets the why behind it, “Student will identify when they feel anxious and use a coping strategy before calling out.”

SEL goals help students build the internal skills that lead to better behavior, stronger relationships, and more consistent emotional regulation regardless of their developmental disabilities or overall development. They can be written to support students exactly where they are at.

How to Build Effective SEL Goals

Before writing any IEP goals or social-emotional objectives you, need a clear picture of where the student is starting.

1. Review the Present Levels of Performance (PLOP)

This section tells you what the student can currently do and where they’re struggling with. 

Look for data or observations related to:

• Emotional regulation (How does the student handle frustration? You can write goals tied to self-regulation strategies)
• Social interactions (Do they get along with peers? You can write social skills goals)
• Self-awareness (Can they identify emotions or triggers? You can write emotional intelligence goals)

2. Data Collection

Use a mix of qualitative and quantitative data:

• Teacher observation (including service providers)
• Behavior tracking forms
• Family input

3. Connect Goals to Identified Needs

The goals you write should directly address skills that the student needs to build, not just what you hope they’ll stop doing. For example:

• Instead of “Student will have fewer meltdowns,”
  try “Student will use a calm-down strategy when frustrated in 4/5 opportunities.”

Following this framework will help you write great goals based on social emotional skills. The rest of this post includes example goals for each of the core competencies. You’ll be able to use this as an IEP goal bank to choose specific objectives that work for your student. Remember, each child’s unique needs have to be reflected in their IEP, so make sure you edit these goals to reflect them.

Examples of Social Emotional IEP Goals by Domain

1. Self-Awareness

Skills Addressed:

• Identifying emotions
• Recognizing personal strengths
• Understanding triggers
• Building confidence

Example Goals:

• Student will identify their current emotion using a visual chart in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will label feelings of frustration, sadness, or excitement with 80% accuracy during check-ins.
• Student will describe two personal strengths and one area for growth during counseling sessions.
• Student will recognize situations that make them anxious and verbalize them with adult support.
• Student will use “I feel” statements to express emotions appropriately in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will name at least two strategies that help them feel calm when upset.

Tool to help support these IEP goals: 

• Social Emotional Visual Supports (click here)
• Self Awareness Task boxes (click here)

2. Self-Management

Skills Addressed:

• Impulse control
• Emotional regulation
• Coping strategies
• Goal setting

Example Goals:

• When upset, Student will choose and use a coping tool (deep breathing, break card, or sensory item) in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will follow a calm-down sequence (stop, breathe, choose) when frustrated in 80% of opportunities.
• Student will transition between activities using a visual timer without adult prompting 3/5 days per week.
• Student will demonstrate appropriate calming strategies within 3 minutes of a triggering event 4/5 times.
• Student will use self-talk strategies to remain calm during non-preferred tasks in 4/5 trials.
• Student will return to a task after a break within 5 minutes in 4/5 sessions.
• Student will identify when they are feeling overwhelmed and request a break in 4/5 opportunities.

Tools to support these IEP goals:

• Self management task boxes (click here)
• Positive Self talk supports (click here)

3. Social Awareness

Skills Addressed:

• Perspective-taking
• Empathy
• Social cues
• Respect for diversity

Example Goals:

• Student will identify the emotions of others using pictures or real-life examples with 80% accuracy.
• Student will demonstrate understanding of others’ feelings by stating, “I think they feel…” during group discussions 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will recognize personal space and maintain appropriate boundaries during peer interactions 4/5 times.
• Student will respond appropriately when a peer is upset (offering help or using kind words) in 3/5 observed opportunities.
• Student will participate in role-play activities to identify appropriate ways to show empathy in 4/5 sessions.
• Student will identify nonverbal cues (facial expressions, body language) that indicate how someone else feels with 80% accuracy.
• Student will make a positive comment to a peer at least once per day when promopted.
• Student will demonstrate awareness of different perspectives using story examples in 4/5 opportunities.

Tool to help support these IEP goals: 

• Kindness and Gratitude Kit (click here)
• Social Awareness Task Boxes (click here)

4. Relationship Skills

Skills Addressed:

• Turn-taking
• Listening and cooperation
• Conflict resolution
• Communication

Example Goals:

• Student will engage in cooperative play or group activities with peers using turn-taking in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will initiate a conversation with a peer or adult using appropriate greetings once per day.
• Student will resolve peer conflicts using “I feel…” statements and teacher guidance in 4/5 incidents.
• Student will listen to peers’ ideas and respond respectfully in group settings 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will seek adult help appropriately when unable to resolve a peer conflict in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will maintain a conversation on a shared topic with a peer for three exchanges in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will demonstrate active listening skills (eye contact, nodding, appropriate responses) in 80% of observed opportunities.
• Student will participate in group work by contributing at least one relevant comment or idea during each session.

Tool to help support these IEP goals: 

• Relationship Skills Task Boxes (click here)
• Self Control Mini Unit (click here)

5. Responsible Decision-Making

Skills Addressed:

• Problem-solving
• Considering consequences
• Reflection
• Goal setting

Example Goals:

• Student will identify the consequence of an action in a structured activity (e.g., social story) with 80% accuracy.
• Student will reflect on a classroom choice and identify one alternative behavior weekly.
• Student will verbalize one strategy for making a safe choice in given scenarios 4/5 times.
• Student will use a decision-making process in social problem-solving tasks in 4/5 opportunities.
• Student will demonstrate responsibility by completing assigned tasks independently 4/5 days per week.
• Student will analyze a peer interaction and identify what made it successful or unsuccessful in 4/5 discussions.
• Student will set one personal goal each week and review progress with teacher support.
• Student will demonstrate safe and respectful behavior in shared spaces (hallway, cafeteria, playground) in 80% of observations.

Tool to help support these IEP goals: 

• Let’s Talk it Out: Thinking Sheets (click here)
• Responsible Decision Making (click here)

When you write social emotional IEP goals with intention, you’re doing more than simply checking a box. You’re helping a student gain tools they’ll use for the rest of their life. Skills like understanding emotions, using positive self-talk, solving conflicts, express feelings, and believing in themselves.

The best goals are clear, measurable, and centered on growth and are framed with real-world situations. They give them the structure to thrive emotionally and academically within that child’s developmental level.

Because at the end of the day, when a student learns to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively, and make thoughtful choices, everything else, from friendships to academics, starts to fall into place.

If we spend less time on academics for a while and more time layering in the importance of social emotional learning into daily activities, students will have a great school experience. Not to mention, the important longer-term result of mastering these life skills.